In Too Cool, we published Danny Weizmann's "Wiseguys, Tin Men & Table Shpritzers," which sang the praises of classic fast-talkers and Runyonesque rappers. Now Joe Goldberg celebrates the verbal style of the king of music retailers, salty Sam, in a brand new piece we call...

 

The Wit and Wisdom of Sam Goody

Today, there are more than 600 Sam Goody stores in the United States, but in l955 there was only one. It was on 49th Street west of Broadway in Manhattan, and it was about the size of a supermarket. Goody billed himself, accurately, as the World's Largest Record Dealer, and he was the first to discount LPs. This was in the early days of the LP, and Goody had so many of them that they had to be filed by catalog number, which meant that few customers could find what they wanted without the help of a salesman.

 

Newly in New York and without a job, I went to Goody's, which was famous for its depth of stock, to find the first album by the wonderful jazz pianist Dick Marx, who had given me a few lessons when I was going to school in Chicago.

It was close to Christmas, and the store was jammed. The sight of it was overwhelming. I stood near the entrance, trying to figure out a way to find what I wanted, when a fiftyish balding man in rimless glasses and a three-piece suit asked, in a gravelly voice, "You the kid lookin' for a job?" He turned out to be Sam Goody, and I had the presence of mind to say, "Yes."

Goody did not believe that the customer was always right. Nor did he believe the people he did business with on the phone were right, either. I once heard him on the phone to the RCA distributor in New York, saying, "I don't give a shit if I do owe you $60,000. I want those fuckin' records here by three o'clock."

The play A Hatful of Rain was appearing a few blocks away. One Saturday afternoon between matinee and evening performances, the actor Henry Silva, who played a dope dealer named Mother in the play, walked into the store in his costume of shades and a trench coat, and, so frightened by his mere appearance, several customers who had no idea who he was left the store.

On another Saturday, the star of the show, Ben Gazzara, came in and lit a cigar. There is a law against that. Goody walked over to him and asked him to put it out. "Do you know who I am?" Gazzara asked. Goody didn't miss a beat: "You're somebody wants to buy a record, aren't you?"

An elderly salesman, watching the scene, asked me, "Who is that reptilian young man?"

Another time, a man looking at audio equipment asked Goody for a special discount. Goody declined. "I'm Buddy Bregman," the man said. Goody just looked at him. Those of you as unimpressed as Goody may wish to know that Buddy Bregman was the husband of the singer Anna Maria Alberghetti and was the arranger and conductor on Ella Fitzgerald's latest Songbook album, which was a hit. "I said, I'm Buddy Bregman," Buddy Bregman repeated. "You'll have to forgive me," Goody said. "I'm not very good with names. I only remember a few. Cadillac, Dun & Bradstreet, names like that."

And then there was the lady who asked Goody to recommend a performance of a particular piano concerto. "The only concerto I know is the cash register concerto," Goody told her. "It goes ding ding ding, all day long."

And it did.

See Joe Goldberg's other features in our SOUNDS chapter: "The Birth of the Cool" and "The Coolest Jazz Records."

photo courtesy michaelochs.com

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